How to have a bath

First, you prepare your surroundings. I recommend candles, tea, and cookies, of course to dip in the tea. A good book is nice too. I also recommend general silence, but to each their own and all that :)

I like to turn on the faucet first, and get the water running before lighting the candles. I like the idea of making the fewest sounds possible, and the sound of the water drowns out everything else.

Biscuit time. Reading your book, the gentle sounds of the water lapping at the sides of the tub. Maybe a bath bomb, if you like. Something pink or purple, with a little glitter maybe. Something fun, y'know?

Do you dip and bob about in the water as you read? I do. I'm slipping and sliding slowly from one position to another, moving in whatever way the story takes my body. If you get into a good rhythm, the minutes can seem to tick away.

A few pages, a few chapters, who knows. It's about time for shampoo. Lather some of that into there, give it a minute or so. This is a bit of noisy time, no sense going back to the book for now. Let it sit for a minute, rinse it out, lather in some conditioner. Y'gotta take care of yourself, y'know?

Ahh, back to the book. The smell of the conditioner drifts through your nostrils as you seep back into the water. There's another biscuit waiting, and another gulp or two of tea. Ahh, that's the stuff.

What's it been, a few chapters? Alright, time to get down to business. There's that last gulp of tea, time to drink up. It's noisy time again.

Where's your scrubby? You know, that little scrubbin' pad that gets into all the nooks and crannies of your body? It's got that good shape, and picks up soap really nicely. Speaking of, I recommend Dove. Does the trick, smells like clean.

Start with your heels. You know, that part that's been neglected for far too long. Spend a good 20, maybe 30 seconds on it. That's per heel. Those dogs do a lot, and they deserve a lot of attention. You want to feel the dry skin scouring away while you're doing this. Put some backbone into it, this is cleaning time. Go up the arches, and work your way towards the balls of your feet.

Get between and the sides of your toes, and really dig into there. When you're getting the tips of the toes (did you think we were forgetting those?), you probably want to grip your toes in your fingers in a cross-body handshake to really scrub at 'em. You want to feel the tips of your toes inside of your brain, if you feel what I'm saying.

Work your way up the legs. Here's the straightaway, but don't skimp on the coverage. Go over areas multiple times, the more dead skin you're scrubbing off, odds are the better. Don't go crazy, but don't be lazy.

Does that scrubby pad fit somewhere? Scrub it there. You're looking for full coverage on this sweep. Keep on going, there's a lot of skin when you're trying to touch it all at once. Got someone to do your back? Me neither, but I'm lucky in that I can bend my arms behind my back. A scrubby on a stick works too. I guess that's part of the preparations at the start too. Soap and a scrubby, can't go wrong.

Underarms? Scrubbin'. Elbows? Scrubbin'. Fingertips? Yyyep, scrubbin'. And get between those fingers. Really stretch 'em apart, feel the burn >:}

Get under the nails as bestcha can and get a little of everything. Back up to the shoulders and up the neck, I like to leave the head for last. Swish the hair out of the way, get up the back of the neck, around the ears, really dig into there. There's lots of nooks and crannies in the ear, and that scrubby can get into all of 'em. Well, most of 'em. Be thorough.

Get as close to the eyes as you dare, cheeks, nose, chin, lips, and I usually end it there. I want to be SQUEAKING when I leave that tub.

Speaking of, let's make the tub squeak. We just had a bath, it's time for the tub to have a bath. How long has it been since these tiles were scrubbed? That scrubby scrubs tile, and that soap is soap. Is there a ring in the tub? Not any more! Thorough with the body, thorough with the tub. You probably want to have set your book way off to the side for this one, this is REALLY noisy time.

Thankfully, this goes a lot faster. It's all flat, and none of it moves. BAM, 5 minutes, done. That water's seen enough action for a while, time to send it on its way. Yank the drain, and lay back to observe your work.

What, you didn't think you were getting out yet, did you? Gotta rinse the tub, and your hair for that matter. No sense wasting the water to rinse the conditioner earlier, we've got to rinse the tub at the end anyway. May as well rinse everything all at once, y'know?

You ate those cookies back at the start for a reason. A quick burst of energy for the journey ahead. Enjoy some relaxation time, then power through a pile of activity and come out squeaky clean. I figure if you're going to enjoy a bathtub full of water, you may as well get as much use out of it as possible.

You come out pretty shiny. I like to lotion afterwards too :3

Kabutroid